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Monday, October 13, 2003

As of today, I've yet again skipped another day at the hospital. Right now, I'm based at Kingston Hospital, and i've mixed feelings about these 2 weeks so far. Today, I woke up at 6am, thinking I would go in, but hoping that something will happen such that i don't have to go in. Surprisingly this morning, I didn't need the snooze button as a reminder. I was wide awake by the time the first alarm rang. However, I soon went back to sleep, after thinking up of another excuse not to attend another day.

I skipped 3 days of hospital at the beginning of last week as well. I know it's to my detriment. So far, I've had no regrets... yet. Why?? It's a long story. Let me try to summarise it....

Initially, I have had 3 weeks of O&G at George's. Although it was scary, and i seem to be full of complaints about the mornings, i actually enjoyed going in that early, and going with the team to the rounds and theatre. I didn't dread anything. However, since i've started the next 3 weeks at Kingston, it's not been good. There, it's 1 student per 1/2 consultants. I've got 2 consultants. One is a relatively young female consultant. The other is a jolly old man, who is one of the loveliest and better teachers i've come across. If you're willing to ask, he's willing to teach. On the other hand, the female one, who is supposedly my main consultant. Sorry to say, but she's a mean bitch. The first time I saw her was during ultrasound scanning, and she seemed nice. I thought of asking her a couple of questions during the session, but decided against it, as some questions may offend the patients and their family present. So I asked her if she minded if I asked questions during the session, and she retorted back saying sure, but it's up to me. ??? After the session, she had private patients, so she told me to go off first, which i gladly did.

The next morning, I had antenatal clinic. Although she knows i'm there, it's as if I'm invisible, not asking if I could have a go at examining the patient (as she is the consultant present, she's supposed to ask), and she was so very unprofessional, as her mobile phone was ringing off the hook, and she just answered in the middle of consultation, as well as left the patient half-dressed, and half-examined, to go out and answer the call!! That happened quite a couple of times in that morning alone. Later on, when I couldn't present a patient properly, as I've not clerked her properly yet, we went out of the examination room, and she asked me about definitions of various terms used in O&G. Ok, my fault there, as I didn't memorise the terms, therefore couldn't give proper definitions. Then, she told me to go and find that out (in the middle of the clinic), and not come back till i did. I was really peeved, and went to go find out in the library. I didn't even feel like going back for the clinic, but I swallowed my pride, and did, simply because I wanted to have more practice on examining pregnant ladies.

Last week, I missed the first 3 days of the week, as I had already finished my deliveries, and the rest of the days were not hers. Besides, during those days, I did quite a bit of work, learning up about various topics. Right now, it's just a matter of remembering what I've read. Then on Thursday's ultrasound session, I went on time, but she started late, because she was doing private patients during lunch hour, and there she was, complaining why we had so many patients, and we were behind schedule, yaddah yaddah. Then on Friday's antenatal clinic, again, she comes in late. Luckily for me, I had really nice nurses, who introduced me to the patients and allowed me to do BPs and examine them. So I did a number of patients, before the consultant came in. However, doing lots is one thing, but whether you're doing it right is another thing. =( Oh well.... Then I didn't know how to read the growth velocity graph, so I asked the consultant to explain. and she turned it back on me and said what do i think of the graph, and why don't i know, etc... BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND, THAT IS WHY I'M ASKING! duhz!! if not, why do i bother asking in the first place?? Then she makes a remark that 'what if i say that you are below average, what does that mean?'.... i controlled my infuriation, and bit back my retort of 'what if i say you are way below average for a teaching consultant'..... just kept quiet, and let her rant and rave, then i went on to see other patients. Later on, i was talking to the nurses and one of the registrars, and they were saying about how since the consultant has a student, she should do a little teaching, instead of just ignoring the student. If she doesn't have the inclination to teach, then she should withdraw the teaching post, instead of having getting the teaching salary, and title to put on the CV. That's way unprofessional, esp since she is already a consultant anyway. Oh well.... what can i say or do.... I might just lodge a complaint, if it gets too far out of hand... esp with the personal insults.

I understand the need to humiliate the student at times, as it is part of the learning process (i suppose!), but the limit is at personal insults, really. As a teacher, you're supposed to get everything they can out of the teaching, to be willing to teach, and mainly, to inspire students to WANT to know more, esp when you're a profession high up on the hierarchy, and have the knowledge and skills to impart. So if you stoop as low down to personal insults, that says a lot about your professionalism, and your own being. You have failed as a teacher. Then again, that is how i feel.

enough complaints as yet. Since i've skipped today, i might as well make gd use of it to actually study some stuff and remember it.