Depression

I taught the year 2s 'examination of the eye and ear' today during the clinical skills session. During my second session for the afternoon, I had a SG junior, YW, as one of my students. After it, he approached me and said that he would like to pull out of the Annual Dinner, and if I could arrange that. When I asked why, he didn't say much. Before long, I was quizzing him, trying to find out what is wrong, and realised that he has really low mood. Listened to him, pried and prodded away, making him think about what could have gone wrong. When I postulated on the change of his moods throughout the time I saw him since the teaching session, he was very surprised at my accuracy, and was wondering how I knew, esp since he was smiling throughout that time. I just said that his eyes told it all.

It goes the same for a couple of people, whom I can tell their moods or when they are troubled, just by looking at them, or looking into their eyes. Either I'm psychic (which is very unlikely), or I'm too sensitive, or I'm just good at guessing (?), or perhaps I know them well?? That can't be, simply becoz for this junior, I'm not close to him at all. In fact, I seldom see him... maybe once in a couple of months! Perhaps I'm just a good listener, and therefore just dissecting the relevant bits of info to be put into perspective. Hmm... what do you think blog??

Later on, he asked about me. I haven't actually had anyone ask about me for a long time. Most of the time, it's either very superficial, or I just listen. Very seldom do I talk about myself (i.e. different from what I have been doing for the day/week). I'm not in a habit of self-revelation, although I do quite a bit of self-reflection at certain times. Clique as it seems, I'm not what I seem to be, or project to people. You know how in autograph books, and descriptions of yourself from others, people will write positive things? Well, many say that I'm a bubbly girl, someone who cares deeply for people, someone who's very sporty, and very social. They say I work hard (esp when they see that i'm studying medicine, which is what i dun understand), and play hard (can drink and party) as well.

Believe it or not, I'm a very private person. I would rather stay home with a good book, than go out to meet friends. I would rather do/play sports, than go out to party. I would rather sing and strum my guitar, or listen to music, than talk. Then again, I would rather listen, than talk. I prefer a quiet, cosy house, than one with my favourite people in it. I like my personal space, I like being on my own, although I enjoy the company of others as well. I'm capable of loving someone very much, overwhelmingly, however, I think I'm pretty much a loner, and would rather stay that way, than share myself with another. Long story behind it, but that's for another time. Hmm... all I've said are pretty much my actions, and not about me. In fact, I think when I say something, I can end up saying lots but saying nothing at all. Like now. Or not?

What do you think am I? Or how do you think am I? Would you be able to describe me me? Hell, I can't even describe myself.

| Zena caught a falling star on 12:05 am.