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Thursday, June 17, 2004
Chapter 2: Men Go to Their Caves and Women Talk
(AKA how the different sexes cope with stress)
Men become increasingly overwhelmed and withdrawn.
To feel better, Martians go to their caves to solve problems alone. If he can't find a solution, then he does something to forget his problems - any challenging activity that can assist him in forgetting his probems and becoming unstuck.
When a man is stressed he will withdraw into the cave of his mind and focus on solving a problem.... He becomes so focused that he temporarily loses awareness of everything else. At such times, he becomes increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive and preoccupied.
So very true, and I can think of 1 person who resembles this. He intrigues me.
Woman become increasingly overwhelmed and emotionally involved.
To feel better, Venusians get together and openly talk about their problems. ... it is considered a sign of love and trust and not a burden.
When a woman is stressed, she instinctively feels a need to talk about her feelings and all the possible problems that are associated with her feelings. ... she is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood.
To forget her own painful feelings, a woman may become emotionally involved in the problems of others.
And you wonder why we have so many 'Aunt Agony' instead of 'Uncle Agony'?
I admit, many a time, I become involved in someone else's problems, simply because I can help others, and not dwell on my own problems, thus taking my mind away. It feels so much better to solve someone's problems instead of your own. You can escape from reality and fantasize that you do not have any problems at all!
As for talking about feelings, I've found that it is a tough task to accomplish. Friends, I have. Good friends, far and far between. Very good friends, those whom one can talk to about anything and who I assume will understand what I'm saying and not belittle it, ever fewer still.
I've been a recluse in sec sch, then someone who started to open up over the years. Yet though being warm, there's still a distance held. It's difficult.