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Thursday, October 07, 2004 (con’t)
Back to the second night we were in Snowdonia. That was one of the more memorable nights I’ve ever had – After having dinner, with the big campfire burning brightly, and 3 of us smelling of smoke, we gathered around the fire and tried to dry our shoes and feet. Guess what? For fuel, someone suggested throwing in the rest of the baked beans that we didn’t finish, together with whatever other paper/rubbish, so in the baked beans went. In the end, instead of having burnt baked beans, we had cooked baked beans more like it! Nevertheless, J was sitting next to me on the bench, while, N and S sat on stones on the other side. It was just so nice being warm, having a star lit with stars, surrounded by darkness and wonderful people, any experience unrivalled as yet. =) While J went to scavenge his stuff from the tent to go shower, N and I were trying our hand at singing songs, and S and I broke into the ‘Where have the flowers gone’ song again. In the midst of it, a bird crowed. Actually, it was more of like it was being strangled to death *screech* Taking it as a sign that our singing is really atrocious (i.e. out of tune, although we weren’t that half bad! Hmph), hence, we stopped. =/ Clearing out the dinner rubbish and the dousing the campfire, N and S went back to their tents to settle, and I said that I’ll join them later on, after I throw away the rubbish at the big bins. When I went to wash my hands after that, J was coming out of the shower. He was kind of flustered, trying to hide something behind the rest of his clothes, and I found out what it was – his boxers. Erm… No big deal, right? Well, I can understand his embarrassment though. =P Anyway, we headed back to where our tents were camped, and we slipped into S&N’s tent. I sat next to S, and leaned against him, coz I was really tired. J then came in shortly after, and he gave S and I a weird look before settling down (erm… think that was becoz of the way S was holding me, think it might have been mistaken for a couple, but there’s seriously nothing between us. We’re just like big bro looking after little sis, kinda thing.) Oh well, after talking for a bit, the night came to an early end, coz we were tired from the day’s hike, so J and I went back to our tent. He was so adamant on me going back to the tent first to lay out my sleeping bag (huh?), before he came in. Then he came in, and we were fiddling around (take your mind out of the gutter! No hanky panky involved!) in the dark, coz the batteries on his reading lamp went off, so we were working literally hand in hand to put in batteries, check the fuse, etc. At the end of it, we used his torch as a light source for the tent, coz mine didn’t have a string to hang up. Lights turned off, and after a long silence, I asked him something, which I don’t think he has answered directly yet. I can’t remember the question though. =/ That night wasn’t too bad. We didn’t bump much, pretty much kept to our sides, apart from one bump or two. Morning arrived, and before long we had to keep our tents and pack our belongings and head off soon. One thing that really annoyed me was that J was having problems rolling up his sleeping bag. So I went to our tent to help him. He was utterly rude. He said he didn’t need help from a female. I mean, what is so wrong about accepting help from a girl?! Is it some kind of macho thing? Or some principle that he adheres to? That we are inferior beings? He didn’t have any problems with me helpig to set up the tents! It’s so infuriating! And so, I left him to carry stuff to the car. After he put his stuff in the car, I asked him for S’s keys coz I wanted to put my stuff in. Initially, he told me to give him my stuff and he’ll put it in the car. I demanded the keys, and so he passed them to me, only during the passing, he ‘advised’ on a good place to place my stuff. I can bloody well see where to put my stuff, damn it, so I just walked off, and rearranged everything in the car, such that there was actually much more room to put stuff! =) Was very peeved that morning, indeed. Soon, we headed off, and I sat in the back with N. It was uneventful (sad to be leaving though), and I was reading my book by Michael Cordy. Brilliant author, btw. We stopped for lunch, opened the remainder of the cans, and once again, I shared lunch with J, which was fine by me, as he wasn’t that bad then. Soon, we came to London, and J alighted earlier to go for service (since we were passing that way and he was in time anyway) and said that he would come by the house to pick up his stuff. Fine. Then we dropped N off at his place, before S and I went back to ours, and we brought everything into the house to sort them out. I let S shower first, while I washed and scoured all the utensils that we used during the trip. Then while he ordered dinner for us, I went to shower. Before long, J came a-calling, while we were watching tv. S led him to his bag, and while he opened it, he asked if S packed his bag (I did, btw). S said that I did, and J made this comment ‘Oh if C_ packed my bag then I’ll really have to check it’. I was so pissed off, that the object which I was holding to return to him, I just slammed it onto the table in front of him and went off in the direction of the kitchen. Now, whether that was a joke or not, I took that as a personal insult. I can take teasing, I can take certain ‘insults’, but there are limits to how much I will allow. If that involves insulting my honesty and my integrity, it is a definite no-go. I draw the line at insulting my character, and while I know that I’m not perfect, it is me and I will not stand by such remarks that degrade the person I am. S could tell that I was pissed off. Don’t know if J knew, but apparently S told him, and all of a sudden, J was actually polite and nice. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard him use so many ‘thank yous’ in one sentence! That was my Snowden trip, in a, well, detailed nutshell. =) Synopsis It was easy getting along with S (coz he’s my housemate), and N (he was in one of my firms, and also one of my squash partners). Now, J, is another matter. When it is just me and him alone anywhere, he is actually quite nice, and acts like a regular nice guy. However, whenever there is a group of us, it’s as if I’m invisible. He literally talks to everyone, but me. Not even a hello. Not during the disco, not during the trip. Okay, maybe very occasionally. What is the matter?! I seriously don’t understand. Am I just a ‘decorative vase’, whom there’s no one else to talk to apart from me, since I’m the only one there? Or is he just shy? I’m sure he doesn’t act like that to other females (I doubt it), but this is what S said. S says that I sort of challenge J, in a sense that he does not have a close female friend, and therefore he doesn’t know how to deal with it. It makes him feel vulnerable, so it seems like I’m getting to him, (Hmm… somehow I am skeptical about this theory). And so, he appears rude and tries to not make it obvious that we’re friends – think reverse psychology (somehow that doesn’t jive me with me, but oh well, trust S’s male intuition). Usually, J maintains a façade of aloofness and superiority, but I know it’s just a mask. Lots of people do. But I’ve seen the person behind the mask, the funny side, the stern side, the working side, the rude side, the sporty side, the methodical side, the crappy side, the childish side, and he’s just a regular normal human being with feelings just like every one of us. But to push away someone, to test someone’s limits (yes, S suggested that J was doing this as well), I mean, if you don’t like me, do me a courtesy and just tell it to my face. Goodness, I know J can be direct like that. If not, then stop blowing hot and cold all the time! It’s kind of difficult to keep guessing your moods, and I don’t really want to get burned, you know…. Week after Snowden Spent Monday and Tuesday sorting out admin stuff in school and at the Post Office. Received a message from Bo asking me out for a movie. Had the inkling that he is interested in me, and under S’s advisement, he also concurs, and because he knows that I’m interested in someone else, S ‘demonstrated’ several ways to let down a guy without hurting his pride too much. And so, met Bo for coffee on Tuesday evening instead, with the intention of putting a stop to any indication that it was going further than a friendship. Instead, that didn’t come up. Our finals results came out instead. Bo didn’t make it. So that was that. We separated shortly after. Don’t think this issue will come out again for a long while, at least until re-sits. Wed, had arranged to have dinner with SF, MN and YW in Central. Since I was going down, I thought I might as well make use of it, at the same time celebrate my passing of written finals, and so I decided to see a musical – Jailhouse Rock, and it was a really good choice! =D Thursday – in the day, managed to clear out a bit of rubbish in my room. Had arranged a game of squash with J in the evening, and we played for a bit, where J was being childlike and nice, and it was oh, such fun! =) Got home, S was there, and we decided to go down to the Tramshed (one of the local pubs) to meet up with Darren. Was surprised to see KP (one of my juniors) there. It was a good night. D’s gf and I were up on the dancefloor dancing, and a couple of guys tried to pick me up. Ugh. S was so sweet and protective – he was looking out for me on the dancefloor to make sure that none of the guys do anything untoward to me, if not, he would come and rescue me by punching them out (that was what he said!). =p Nevertheless, it was a good night of dancing, and this time, I had to help S back coz he was pissed. Hehe… when we came back, S slept in my room (coz he had packed up all his stuff and it was on his bed, and also becoz it was his last night in the house). =( Friday – it’s the last day that S would be in the house. He woke early to shuttle the remainder of his stuff to his bro’s place (where he moved to), and we spent the whole day together after he came back in mid-morning. Headed off for lunch first (after he finished with jabs at the school’s occupational health), then to N’s place to pass them the mousetraps, stayed and talked to N and Baek for a bit, then headed back to school coz he needed to use the library, and I wanted to scan in the photos I just received that morning), then he went off with a friend for coffee while I was still scanning (J came in later on, and stood behind me while I was scanning, frightening me out of my wits!). Went back home, and S came back too. We sat in my room, just talking till he had to leave. =( But at least we’ve, or at least, I have sorted out some stuff about ‘complications’. =) Sat – cleaned the whole house, seeing as how when I was studying, didn’t do much housework at all apart from the dishes (not that my housemates do either, but think I have this OCD streak that would like everything to be clean and tidy). Later on in the evening, went for dinner at Lahore to meet a couple of freshers. Surprise, surprise, I sat next to J, and there we were, he either teasing or acting snide, while I was giving him lip. *sticks tongue out* Ended up with most of them (excluding J) coming over to my place (it was empty after all), after buying drinks at Sainsbury, and we were making cocktails and just drinking and at one point, playing the guitar and singing! Haha… it was good fun, but M and JV were a little pissed to be walking back in the wee hours in the morning, in the rain. So they stayed over. And I ended up having a very long deep talk with JV. A first. It was …nice. =) Considering I slept at 4am that morning, and woke up 8am (I have crazy sleeping hours), I spent the morning energized, and finished clearing up my stuff after both of them left. In the evening, S popped in yet again! Yippee! =) Then had to get ready for the start of my new term and my 5th year! And there you have it, my week’s worth of break, in an extremely detailed blog entry. =) Okay, now it’s early morning, and I have to go to sleep, coz I’m on the morning shift for A&E this morning! Oh yeah, I’ve figured out the tabs for Oasis’ Wonderwall, and Eric Clapton’s Tears in Heaven! Yippee! Oh yes, I was just invited by JV to go to Stonehenge this Sunday. =) |