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Friday, October 01, 2004 I miss him already
It's been 2 hours since he left. I've known all along that he was moving out at the end of September. And yet when the time came, it's so hard to see him leave the house. When I saw him packing his stuff, I just teared. Leaving his car just now, after a hug, I teared, and so I scrambled out of the car before he could see it flow. Slightly more than a year ago, I didn't know him that well, although he was nice enough to help me and K move to our new place at the start of summer. During that time, he came over to our place lots. He helped me while I was fiddling with the building of my now-table. Then I was gone, flown home to enjoy my second life in Singapore. When I came back, didn't really talk to him that much, until after he moved in. We became closer, although we were in different rotations. The whole household would actually gather in the tiny kitchen of ours during meal times, to cook, to update, to relax. He was our 'plus one', in the midst of the whole house of girls. We share our love of music, trance/dance music. He would come to my room to 'disturb' me, or just to talk. I would go downstairs to his room when I hear a song on the radio which I know he will like, and tell him. We would both go to K's room and just fool around. Or I would just perch on his bed, and we would talk. I'm his 'sinseh', having taught him the guitar, and now, he has progressed on to making new chords, and when he plays them for me to listen, I would hum along a tune to go with it. During the past few months, while studying for finals, we've studied together, me on his bed, listening to a tune, and him on the chair opposite me, rushing to complete a certain topic. I've studied with him, fallen asleep while he was talking, played the guitar and sang with him. We have a thing about this song 'Where have all the flowers gone?', where we both break into laughter after singing it/humming it out of tune. He has seen me in my most un-glam state, almost everyday probably. He has seen me sleeping. He has seen me in my most glam state of make-up/dress-up to go clubbing. He has waited for me to go out to the pub together to meet friends, and we both help each other out to get home if either gets too pissed (aka drunk), usually him, but very occasionally, me. He looks out for me when I'm on the dancefloor, and when I'm drinking, when we were hiking up mount snowden, or camping. He answers my questions. He helped me with my driving licence here. He helps me with borrowing/returning library books. I get him (and the rest of the household) notes from revision lectures, although it's not asked at all. We discuss topics, and I say certain things, and he corrects my concepts (with relation to medicine). He waits for me to finish when he sees me at the gym, and vice versa. He turns off the stove/oven, whenever I forget, so that my food doesn't burn. He teases me goodheartedly about my cursing and swearing, my bruises, the supposed guys in my life (J, F & LJ). He understands when I say that a girl is fit/hot. He knows when I can't take his teasing. He knows when I'm angry or not in a good mood. He knows. I'm there when he talks about girls, life, family. He's there for me, vice versa. In fact, usually, I let guys talk it out, listen and give advice when asked/needed. For guy trouble on my side, I have never opened up to a guy. It's always been girls, and there have only been 2 close friends. But this time, I actually told him some stuff, and he just listened, and tells me frankly certain things which I can't see for myself. I don't feel silly talking to him, baring my soul. Somewhere along the line, I became his 'Little Munchkin'. I think this is one of the first few times I've actually ever teared over a friend. The music I'm listening to right now doesn't help, coz it's mostly sentimental oldies. I feel so alone now. I feel as if I've lost my best friend, although he's just a phone call away. However, a phonecall won't do justice. Now that we're starting different firms, and he's gonna be in Guildford/Plymouth for the next 10 weeks, while I'll be here at George's, and then Caterham, then my elective, we'll both be busy. Never will there be another time where I can just come home and relax with him, or find him tinkering with the guitar, which I sometimes hear when I come back home from school, and when I wake up while he's in the living room tinkering. Never can I see his smiley face in the house again. I miss you, S. You are and have been a blessing, a beacon of light in my otherwise dreary world over here. It's not the same without you in the house. You will be sorely missed, not just by me, but by the whole household. Take very good care, keep your chin up, and I'll see you soon. Your Little Munchkin |