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Monday, August 01, 2005
Just a short note here. I've been to Kent and back to London (for hospital induction), commuting for the past 2 days. It's tiring. But I think I might just like Medway. Medway Maritime Hospital is nice, the inside, that is. And the people working there seems nice. The area is pretty rough though - made up of loads of 'chavs' - white female/male kind-a hoodlums who live in council estates but wear loads of branded clothes (definitely must have Burberry), and lots of blink-blink. Hmm... on a virgin exploration of the High Street, it's made of 2 streets which seems just about adequate. It's at least a 10 min walk from the hospital though. Going back to the people, they seem nice. A fair share of the house officers are from GKT, and they seem really nice people, although for now, the george's people have kind of grouped together, yet still mixing around, slowly. For now.
We'll see about the accommodation tomorrow.
I just received an email from one of my good friends that her grandma had cancer. Before that, Star's grandma had passed away a few weeks back. And before that, an acquaintance's mum was hospitalised because of a rare stroke (Takayasu?) and was in a coma. Coupled with that were the London bombings. I still can't contact one of my good friends, who was living in Russell Square and goes to work during that time of the morning. It has been really sad. It really makes me want to pray and believe that the world is usually not all that black and bad.
I remember when my grandma died, it was 5th July 2000. I was painting the walls on the tiling outside my parents' bedroom on the first story when the phonecall came. I thought it was just an phonecall from one of the annoying guys' who had try to ask me out a couple of times. I asked my dad to answer it. 10s later, he put down the phone and said that my cousin, Terence had called, and Ma-ma had a heart attack. She was being brought to SGH now. I almost fell off the roof, down onto the garden below. When we went to the hospital, it was a shocking and depressing scene. Just a few weeks back, we had celebrated Ma-ma's birthday. Now, she was lying on the trolley, pale and lifeless. Relatives were around, just quietly talking. I felt lost. Although we weren't that close, she was still my grandma and I love her so, even though I disliked learning Teochew from speaking with her.
Feelings were and are undescribable. It was a sad day.
I feel sad now as well, as I'll be leaving Tooting, for good, more or less, for the next year. This, which has been my home for the past 5 years. All the good and bad of the place has been accepted, adapted, and loved, for all of it. Now, I'm moving, yet again.
Reading the email from my friend, and my sister's journal, I realise no matter how far away you are, the people you love always leaves bittersweet feelings in my heart. Loving them when you're there, missing them when you're here... Being busy helps keep them at bay.
Controlling emotions is draining. And leaves a lingering taste of ... what? I don't know. Perhaps, loss.
I miss you, mei, more than you'll ever know. I miss you, TY. Counting the days when I'm back.