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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

This is an article which gave me quite a laugh when I read it. It's from Frontline Medicine, the issue of BMA News, 21 January 2006, and was written by Charles Lamb, an ER doc. The words in brackets are the thought which went through my head when I was reading the article.


The good news if you are an SHO in emergency medicine is that your time is up and, in one week's time, it will be a distant, if unpleasant, memory. (Yeah, they change over... on a Wednesday??)

It will obviously take a little acclimatising to life in ordinary, boring ward-based jobvs for some of you (so true), so to ease the transition these are my tips. Note that if you are about to start a job in emergency medicin, you should reverse the advice so as to settle in quickly.

1. Do not be tempted to discharge patients. No one is ever discharged from general medicine (at times, for some patients, that is so true). Most just lose the will to live or become terminally anaemic from enless blood sampling (from poor HOs like us...) for esoteric investigations dreamed up by research registrars.

2. Refrain from making decisions. Except in emergency medicine this is a job reserved only for consultant ward rounds. That way your ward will be full of nice, non-demanding patients all week (unlikely though...).

3. Now that you've left emergency medicine, being pleasant to GPs will no longer be necessary (although this is not applicable to GP trainees). You may now revert to asking endless questions designed to unmask the hilarious fact that the doctor hasn't actually examined his aspiring patient referral.

4. Everytthing in your ward will stop at visiting times, conveninently positioned between your statutory lunch and late-afternoon compulsory breaks, this ensuring that no one gets examined from 11.45am untill 8.15pm (if only the world works like that).

5. It will be necessary to return to wearing a tie - the one wthat your emergency medicine consultant bought for you for Xmas should suffice, unless you are a woman, in which case you may wear the silk scarf.

6. You may revert to answering calls to emergency medicine in a condescending tone and delayed manner designed to conceal the reality that you will need about five minutes to look up the treatment of heart failure in the Oxford textbook before providing your much-heralded second opinion. (huh? who carries that bnook around now, apart from the students?!)

7. Having left the specialty you will no longer be welcome in the emergency mnedicine staffroom. You should eat your sandwich in the canteen.

'8. It will be necessary to empty your pigeon-hole if six months' unread mail, inclduing the urgent GMC communication indicating that, since you didn't reply to their earlier request for payment of your retention fee, you are no longer registered.

9. Return your scrub suits (NO!!) to the laundry as they now contain 6 months' woprth of blood, vomit, sweat and tears - and that's just on the inside.

10. Erase everything you have learnt about teamwork, medicine, alcohol and the peculiar things patients get up to from your mind and reclaim you sanity, which can be located near the exit signs (*Guffaws*)

his articles jhust crack m e up. =p.


:+:

On another note Dev is leaving. It's the last day for him, similar to many others who are changing jobs this week. I'm glad I did an MAU weekend with him. From not talking to exchanging bits of info, I've realised that he's actually quite serious, yet funny. =) Now he has a new way of calling my name, emphasizing on the 2nd syllable, sounding half mysterious/weird, making me want to laugh out loud, but instead I break out in a smile.

Okay, gotta go to work now. More later. =)