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Monday, March 27, 2006
Before I start, let me jsut say that I am back to normal, and have been for the past week. Warning: This is a post about ranting. Think I've been away from London and my friends for too long. I feel the inertia. t's great to be doing nothing, and yet I know that there's things to be done.
People have gotten their postings today. At least those from GKT. They know where they are going next year. Those from my uni don't know yet. WE won't know till... some time later this week, I suppose. Suspense is a poor substitute for procrastination.
I notice I have been very short-tempered lately.
I was on-call in MAU over the weekend (18-19 March). One of my coleagues had swapped with me as he wanted that weekend free to go to Ireland for St Patrick's Day. But anyway, we were continuously busy throughout that whole weekend , non-stop. On Sunday, we were one man short. One of the ward SHOs had called in sick. And we were already 1 MAU SHO short. And so, the MAU SHO (VP) covering MAU took the bleep and covered the wards, MAU and his own bleep. In the morning when I arrived, he had to go on the post-take ward round with the COTE consultant (it's pointless having 2 HOs doing the ward round with the consultant), and so, I stayed in MAU to clerk patients in.
So there I stayed, the whole day, till 2pm, without senior cover, until the other MAU SHO turned up, with the locum SHO. So there we were, all the way till 9.30pm. Where VP and I said , enough was enough, and we were going home coz it was the end of our shift, and we were really too tired from the day.
And who comes ambling in but the night Reg covering for the regular (MSA-the Associate Staff Grade which is equivalent to a Consultant), and he tells us we can't go till we finish up the 2 patients who were still waiting to be seen. We were flabbergasted. We went "What?!" And then he said that we shouldn't be leaving patients for the night team to see and how they were they supposed to finish seeing them.
Firstly, that's what all the shift work is all about. Secondly, they had the whole night to see them, considering we weren't expecting any more people and the people were more than capable of seeing them.
Before I degress further, the MAU SHO (RP) who came in at 2pm defended us, saying that we have been working non-stop and MAU was really busy today and we were short-staffed. Even though there were patients waiting to be seen, they will be seen sooner or later that night. And MSA was there telling him to stop whinging and continue doing work and stop slacking. That got me mad. Furiously mad.
And so, I told him off. Well, at first, I tried to reason with him, defending the SHO, saying that we were really swamped today, and we were 1-2 man down. Whatever RP was saying was true. MSA proceeded to tell me to mind my business and that RP was just whinging and he should start doing some work. That got me really worked-up. And so I lam-blasted him there and then, in the doctors' room of MAU.
" This IS my business. I have been on MAU for the whole weekend, so I know how b usy we are. I know RP, and he is not whinging. It has been manic today, and I haven't been out of MAU today. At all. I haven't had a toilet break, I haven't had lunch or dinner. So don't come in here and that RP is whinging bercause he's not. You don't come in here and tell us that we are not doing our work, because we have and the whole of MAU can testify to that." (faces of the MAU nurses nodding, while my colleagues looked stunned).
MSA looked stunned as well, but he suddenly tried to be pally with me and started patting me on the shoulder, and saying that he's just joking.
" Don't touch me (while I shrugged my shoulders to relieve of his touch). This is no joking matter. It is serious. Here we are, working our butts off, and there you are implying that we are slacking. What is the meaning of this?!"
His reply? "Erm... I'm going to A+E now". And he walks out of the room. On the way though, he headed into the doctors mess instead. WT *beep*?
Ironically, I can tolerate lazy people. The Reg who was on-call in the day over that weekend was in the mess sleeping throughout! That I can stand. And MSA has a reputation of being a lazy bastard. That I can tolerate. But to accuse us of not doing work and ordering us to stay to clerk the patients in. That is simply something I cannot stand, and I will not accept. It's fine if you want to be lazy. But to accuse me and my colleagues of being in the same class as you when we are, in fact, not, is beyond me. Other people may accept it, but I don't and I will not.
And so, now, we are not on speaking terms. I am going to suffer this weekend, coz he's also covering for this weekend, when I am on MAU. How lovely for me. I most probably won't have a job if I were to apply here ever again. And apparently this has gone around the hospital, somewhat. The HOs at least. My colleague who was there when it happened, said that he will not want to get on the bad side of me in future. Haha. Funny. Not.
Other than that, I actually quite like working in MAU.
Today, we finally got a CT abdo for one of my patients who is not fit enough to have any colonic imaging at present. And I get called 5 mins before the scan, saying that he, the radiologist, is not prepared to do it because there's a risk that with the Cr of 150 (she previously came in with a Cr of 1000+ and had to be haemofiltrated), there's a possibility of acute renal failure, with the contrast. Unless I am willing to sign a form stating that I will take full respsibility for that happening, he is not going to do the CT. And so, I spent the afternoon running around and trying to contact the renal consultant to ask for some advice. By the time I got back to him, the radiologist had already gone home, and it wasn't even 5 yet! argh... And there I went to explain to the patient why she dodn't have the CT, and understandably she was very frustrated and fed-up of being in the hospital. However, she was angry at me regarding her bloods that morning, and I tried explaining to her that she had misunderstood it, but she was not having any. She just cut me off and didn't listen to any explanation. So I said I'll come back tomorrow.
I was tempted to be short and rude to her, especially when I had spent 45 mins expaining things to her, but I didn't. Guess there's some projection of feelings involved.
Also I've realised that I am a person who can explain once, aexplain twice, but if you don't get it by the third time, I'll not be very patient anymore and actually just be quite short with you. It's my nature. But it's just not good. =/ Also, through phonecalls, I notice that if people on the other side don't seem to get my explanation, I tend to be more aburpt and my tone of voice actually changes, quite subtle-ly, and not for the better. Hmm... =/